Favorite R-rated Christmas movies

I thought it would be fun to take my most popular Christmas post and fill out mini-reviews alongside some international movie posters. Enjoy!

Die Hard

If you see posters of part 5 and grimace, you need to remind yourself why all these years later they’re still trying to capture the essence of the original — one of the best action films of the 20th century. This franchise certainly has lost it’s luster but the original film never will.

It’s also very festive. And bloody. But whatever, there are Santa hats, ho-ho-ho’s, and Christmas in Hollis to bring you cheer.

Die Hard 2: Die Harder

This one has snow and naked butts, snow, blood, Christmas presents, and snow. Okay. This is not the original. We all know going in, lightening just doesn’t strike twice.

But to snuggle in with a cup of cocoa and watch John McClane save Christmas, again, beats the heck out of watching sickening sweet holiday fare. I’m talking to you Polar Express.

Reindeer Games

Personally, I think this film is great. It’s not great-great, it’s bad-great. But it’s a really great bad-great which is perfect this time of year. Just make some popcorn and get ready for some fun.

Guns galore. Sex. Lies. Prison. Beatings. Fire. Death. Robbery. And Christmas. Sounds like some reindeer games to me. If you’re interested in catching some Christmas spirit, look for it some place else — everyone here is on Santa’s naughty list.

The Ref

Family. Everyone has one. Hopefully not like this.

The true meaning of Christmas is nowhere to be found in this film but the humorous look at holiday extremes can be seen in full display. Witness lies, secrets, frustrations, resentments, and a hostage situation that brings a family together. Awww, so heartwarming!

Love Actually

There is a lot to dislike here. A lot. But the stories worth enjoying are certainly festive enough to make this a must watch.

Witness a geezer make a comeback, two naked people, flirting, adultery, politics, more nudity, and a Christmas lobster. It’s just so removed from reality, it’s hard to take too seriously. Which, let’s face it, is sometimes just what we need at Christmas.

Out of Sight

Now this is a Christmas movie. Blood and romance and a snowy Michigan — brilliantly written, directed, and acted. It has a great sense of humor, a smart cast, and it radiates cool.

Chemistry, characters, locations, storytelling, a Ray Nicholette crossover, and a great ending. This movie is a rare combination of perfection.

Bridget Jones’s Diary

One of the few movies better than the book, but this certainly isn’t for everyone. If you’re looking for something deep and meaningful, you won’t find it under the wrapping of this romantic comedy. This is just some good self-pitty fodder for singletons at Christmas.

Let Bridget embarrass herself so you don’t have to.

Lethal Weapon

Christmas trees and cocaine, Jingle Bell Rock, the Bugs Bunny Christmas special and suicide. Are you feeling nostalgic?

How about going back to the late 80’s, when the buddy cop movie was king and you could be a leading man — even if you had a mullet. Sometimes that’s just what we need at Christmas, a reminder of the things we missed, and of how we’ve changed, and how far we’ve come.

Twelve Monkeys

If you’re looking to relax, I doubt this is for you. But if you want to escape, be transported into a strange and fascinating place, get out the blankets. Hunker in with some eggnog and get ready for some weird.

Time travel and terrorist prevention, cerebral, gritty, Gilliam — a far cry from your regular Christmas fare. Which might be just what you asked for.

Enemy of the State

This movie moves. Once it starts it doesn’t stop until the credits roll. Conspiracy, explosions, car chases, infidelity, technology, murder, secrets, lies — and it all begins with a Christmas gift.

Of course the real gift is watching Will Smith and Gene Hackman play against each other. It’s a great movie for a Friday night, paired with pizza and a crackling fireplace.

The Long Kiss Goodnight

Renny Harlin, director of Die Hard 2, and Shane Black, writer of Lethal Weapon, gave this gift to the world. Everything about this movie screams Christmas. From actually screaming, to parades, stunt ice skating, Samuel L. Jackson’s ugly sweaters, and death by Christmas lights.

It’s the fruitcake of Christmas films — random bits thrown together, fueled by alcohol. But boy is it fun.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Advertisements

About Saint

Filmmaker, Screenwriter, Cinephile, Coffee Zombie
This entry was posted in Action, Adventure, Christmas, Comedy, Crossposted, Drama, Drink, Film, Film Genre, Food, Heist Film, Holiday, International Cinema, Netflix, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Snack, Theme, Thriller, Tumblr and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s